The Big Bang Theory: Funniest Quotes

After 12 hilarious seasons, The Big Bang Theory will go down in history as one of most lovable and geeky sitcoms.

We take a look at some of the best lines over the years.


Penny, while I subscribe to the many worlds theory, which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes - I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 3


I think that you gave as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering that at the center of every black hole there is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 1

Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don’t you think that if I were wrong, I’d know it?

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 3


Sheldon doesn’t know when he’s being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 5

I met her at Comic-Con, the one place where saying, ‘I have a comic bookstore’ is an actual pick-up line.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 4


Oh, where to begin? Trees indoors. Overuse of the words ‘tis’ and ‘twas’. And the absurd custom of one stocking. Everybody knows that socks come in pairs. Who uses one sock?

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 6

Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And, as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 2


I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at 14. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can’t take this away.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 8


Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh at a knock-knock joke that starts ‘Knock-Knock-Knock, Amy. Knock-Knock-Knock, Amy. Knock-Knock-Knock, Amy?

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 7


Amy, we won the Nobel Prize in Physics. Humility is for people who win the goofy Nobels like Literature, Economics, and Peace.

—  Big Bang Theory: Season 12

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